tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post5037002542466688226..comments2021-10-15T00:18:44.621-04:00Comments on Smithy of the Written Word: Truth About BeautyJ. Aleksandr Woottonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14662632470889043158noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-40003576055544137832015-11-07T00:43:53.034-05:002015-11-07T00:43:53.034-05:00https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/i-thought-losing-85-p...https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/i-thought-losing-85-pounds-would-make-me-feel-124862693943.htmlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-38668816831530510152013-01-18T11:52:57.479-05:002013-01-18T11:52:57.479-05:00Dear Gee,
You're right, of course - the biase...Dear Gee,<br /><br />You're right, of course - the biases, judgmentalism, prejudices, and discrimination are all very real. Moreover, the cultural landscape is complex; it *is* all in our heads, but it's a thicket and tangle of unrelated ideas that seem to support one another, but upon examination, really don't. <br /><br />Social beauty standards aren't really about beauty; they're about power. Social criteria for a "beautiful" woman has always been those associated with wealth and leisure. Personal beauty insecurity isn't usually about beauty, either; it's usually about perceived worth to others. Media beauty portrayals aren't about beauty; they're about money (they use social beauty standards to prey on personal beauty insecurity, attempting to convince us we can buy our way to loveliness / social value). Popular health standards aren't based on real health science, but rather a convenient way to justify the reactions of fatophobes, a small but noisy minority. Lastly, those men who do prefer physically insubstantial women fall into a few categories: desire to advance their own social status through the woman they're seen with; men whose own self-perceptions influence them towards a girl they feel able to protect or dominate physically; and last, but not least, men who genuinely appreciate slim figures.<br /><br />Obviously these ideas are not like a Jenga tower we can unbuild simply by removing the right block near the base and bring it all crashing down.<br /><br />That doesn't mean we have to accept the situation. There are positive choices we can make:<br /><br />(1) We can choose to never be part of the problem ourselves - never judging anyone else based on a false standard, even mentally, and never repeating others' judgments of us to ourselves. Hardly easy, but worthwhile.<br /><br />(2) We can try to gently disentangle others from contributing to the problem. <br /><br />My mother loves many styles of garden, but thinks wild trees are ugly. But she doesn't tell me I shouldn't spend my time walking in the woods, and doesn't advocate the trimming of forest trees into shapes she can appreciate. We're all limited in our capacity to appreciate beauty, but we shouldn't assume someone isn't beautiful simply because we don't find them so, and we should respect those who can appreciate a different beauty than we can.J. Aleksandr Woottonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14662632470889043158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-80197158259313378802013-01-17T11:34:54.948-05:002013-01-17T11:34:54.948-05:00I think many a man has attempted to say something ...I think many a man has attempted to say something similar, and that most women are actually aware that the average man on the street doesn't share the rigid beauty ideals put forward by the media. Men, however, seem largely unaware that women's insecurities aren't entirely based on our beliefs about men's tastes. Women still face discrimination based on appearance (yes, women you might find attractive). Thinner women might not have a significantly easier time finding a mate, but it is documented that they have an easier time finding a job, get paid more, and are more likely to be found innocent by a jury! Men might find a wider (no pun intended) range of women attractive, but that alone can't liberate women from the tyranny of the social ideal. It isn't a delusion women suffer from, but a nigh-inescapable feature of the cultural landscape.<br />There is some benefit to saying the things you've said here, of course. It's worthwhile to contradict the prevailing message, but sometimes it seems to me that men overestimate the power of their own opinions in this issue, and imagine they have the ability to wave a magic - er, wand - and make the problem go away. That would be true if it were all in women's heads, and all about sex, but it goes beyond that.<br />Sorry for the long ramble. My point is, to put a personal spin on it: I'm "curvy", an hourglass, baby-got-back, honky-tonk badonkadonk, etc.. All the praise my shape might get from men does not make me less of a second class citizen and therefore can't assuage my negative feelings about my dress size. Please don't think I'm crazy, or vain; it's not all in my head, even if you might call me beautiful.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12419145095087091004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-55986358659679416202012-08-20T14:25:35.858-04:002012-08-20T14:25:35.858-04:00http://paleoparents.com/featured/what-losing-135lb...http://paleoparents.com/featured/what-losing-135lbs-looks-like/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-33226205515920921222010-05-24T10:23:45.620-04:002010-05-24T10:23:45.620-04:00http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/homestyle/05/12/tf....http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/homestyle/05/12/tf.overweight.women.look.sexy/index.html?hpt=C2Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-43781779924308038872009-10-01T23:44:12.145-04:002009-10-01T23:44:12.145-04:00http://www.newsweek.com/id/113689http://www.newsweek.com/id/113689Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-3484349569819177662008-09-20T14:38:00.000-04:002008-09-20T14:38:00.000-04:00This is a remarkable website: http://www.adipositi...This is a remarkable website: http://www.adipositivity.com<BR/><BR/>Caution - artistic nudityJ. Aleksandr Woottonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14662632470889043158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-7157826870700264612008-09-18T18:56:00.000-04:002008-09-18T18:56:00.000-04:00Thank you for sharing this with me, and thank you ...Thank you for sharing this with me, and thank you for stopping by my site. This is a very nice piece of work.Susanleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14864319996180586857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-56122282472475094322008-07-26T13:21:00.000-04:002008-07-26T13:21:00.000-04:00Well, I have no problem with people looking for SI...Well, I have no problem with people looking for SIGNS, but when the signs aren't there, people just have to know when to back off.<BR/><BR/>And, if the signs ARE there, saying "you're sick and you need to eat something, freak," is probably not helpful to the situation.<BR/><BR/>I think you rock. ;-DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-8841687244227303172008-06-27T17:38:00.000-04:002008-06-27T17:38:00.000-04:00Kelli,Thank you! You're completely right. I had a ...Kelli,<BR/><BR/>Thank you! <BR/><BR/>You're completely right. I had a conversation with a beautiful, healthy, naturally thin girl a few years back who told me she'd once been rejected by a guy who said she needed to gain weight. Meanwhile, her roommate was a heavier, curvier type who often fretted about size. Right now they're both engaged to men who love them and find them beautiful as they are. <BR/><BR/>I also know plenty of girls who've been accused either of having an eating disorder or of taking drastic steps to lose weight, often by people whom I suspect are guilty of jealousy.<BR/><BR/>And yet if I'm honest, when I'm getting to know a girl who is atypically thin, I find myself checking subconsciously for signs of an eating disorder - simply because I know how prevalent EDs are. One girl expressed her perception to me this way - "every guy wants a skinny girlfriend, but nobody wants to know how she does it." Nothing could be further from the truth, but that is what she felt, and (I think) what many women feel.<BR/><BR/>The dark side of being naturally thin is, as you said, convincing others that the kind of beauty you have is real - not unhealthily induced, not artifically derived, but actually you. And for awhile, people who are fighting to broaden societal beauty standards may accidentally or misguidedly demonize you, along with your fellow 5%. But keep at it. Stand your ground, be who you are, and keep educating the people brave enough to talk to you about your size. The only way out of this situation lies in opening people's eyes to reality, in giving them permission to express the beauty they have and to pursue the beauty they find attractive.<BR/><BR/>In other news:<BR/>BMI is hilarious to me. It's not good at taking into account differences in bone density, muscles mass, and so on. It's only meant to provide a ballpark estimate, and yet so many people consider it authoritative. According to it, I'm overweight. I'd have lose the little bit of bodyfat I have (a good and healthy thing to carry around, by the way) and a decent bit of muscle - 10 pounds in all - to hit the "normal" range for my height. Take my advice - don't be judged by BMI. It's too quick, too sloppy, and it's not specific enough to you.J. Aleksandr Woottonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14662632470889043158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-68358928104218000922008-06-27T11:58:00.000-04:002008-06-27T11:58:00.000-04:00Wow. I love your ideas.I happen to fall in that 5%...Wow. I love your ideas.<BR/><BR/>I happen to fall in that 5%.<BR/><BR/>It rather sucks though. I mean, think about it, if you aren't thin, as I am, you are ostricized for being fat and "unhealthy." Then when you are thin, you are called anorexic or bulemic.<BR/><BR/>Hahaha, my favorite was a girl who told me "your size puts you in the category of anorexic." Anorexic is a behavoir, not a size.<BR/><BR/>" it requires a small bone structure of the kind you can’t produce by diet and exercise, and women who have more normal skeletal structures often end up looking bony when they ‘succeed.’"<BR/>Exactly! I must say, I think healthy women always look more attractive, but healthy and skinny are not synonymous.<BR/><BR/>There is no healthy weight. A doctor can advise you, that's it. All these magazines tell you BMI can judge. no, it can't. If you are average, iot can give you a roundabout estimate. Hey, my friend was anorexic and fit well into the "normal" category. It can't judge health.<BR/><BR/>Your ideas rock.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-32508763829809915802007-11-02T21:47:00.000-04:002007-11-02T21:47:00.000-04:00John Keats, "Ode to a Grecian Urn."John Keats, "Ode to a Grecian Urn."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-53633242360923881252007-07-31T00:21:00.000-04:002007-07-31T00:21:00.000-04:00http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1713822http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1713822Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-11917852445666542082007-07-03T19:42:00.000-04:002007-07-03T19:42:00.000-04:00You're welcome...You're welcome...J. Aleksandr Woottonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14662632470889043158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-57447203642237316332007-07-01T23:23:00.000-04:002007-07-01T23:23:00.000-04:00thank you.thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-39070603145687074952007-06-18T16:01:00.000-04:002007-06-18T16:01:00.000-04:00To Derek:What I am arguing about the subjectivity ...To Derek:<BR/>What I am arguing about the subjectivity of beauty as it regards women's bodies is that beauty is completely subjective across the whole range of human opinion. <BR/><BR/>I do not mean that beauty is subjective to the individual - it would be absurd to claim, for example, that a husband finds his wife's body 100% attractive and 100% repulsive. Any individual has standards for what constitutes a beautiful body, and though of course that standard could change, it is still an "objective" standard for that individual in terms of its functionality.<BR/><BR/>It's also possible, at least theoretically, that there is a standard by which bodily beauty is "objective" beyond or above the scope of human opinion. I'm afraid I feel rather agnostic towards that theory. Since the point of my essay is solely to address the problems caused by human opinions, I will leave that theory to the philosophers (see Confessions of a Comic-Book Hero).<BR/><BR/>My point is that beauty is not universal and is therefore not objective. There is no secret standard by which a woman's body can be made to look beautiful to all people, and there is practically no body (certainly none of those considered "normal") that will not be found beautiful by some people.<BR/><BR/>The latter half of your essay addresses a separate issue from mine, one that I heartily agree with; namely, that there is more to a person's beauty than a body, more even than overall physical appearance. The next step in this dialogue is an attempt at defining beauty comprehensively. Perhaps we should write a new post together on the topic.J. Aleksandr Woottonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14662632470889043158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016071871186519042.post-25159391198226432032007-06-06T03:57:00.000-04:002007-06-06T03:57:00.000-04:00A response essay:http://dksramblings.blogspot.com/...A response essay:<BR/><BR/>http://dksramblings.blogspot.com/2007/06/true-beauty.htmlDerek Knighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04217040062964632422noreply@blogger.com